I know, I know. There are ALWAYS so many people in this world hurting. But lately it's seemed that the circles I run in have been filled with people who are suffering. Dealing with stuff that's big...Cancer, having a parent die, divorce, babies who don't get to stay with us in this world after they are born. At certain points, it is enough to make me want to pull the covers over my head and drown out the tragedies of life with ice cream and bad reality tv because how in the world can we possibly find an appropriate response to the suffering we see?
Sending over dinner or leaving a card in their mail box doesn't seem like enough when their world seems to, quite literally, be falling apart. But then, even if we're doing our best to support those dealing with tragedy by simply listening and being the best friend we know how to be, in enters fear.
Though it makes me cringe to admit it, when I hear about someone getting cancer at the age of 30, all of a sudden I wonder if that's going to be my husband or me. When I hear about a miscarriage or a child who gets cancer, it's hard to not to wonder if one day, that might be my own child. When a spouse loses his wife with young children at home, how can I possibly not wonder what I would do if that were me one day?
It was this morning when I found myself in tears after hearing some difficult news from a friend, that I decided in the face of suffering so many people I care about are facing, I will not only practice compassion but also practice gratitude.
Not ignorance, not fear. Gratitude.
It seems the only appropriate response. The fear of bad things happening to good people is real and founded and certainly possible. And yet, things like cancer and earthquakes and freak car accidents are also out of my control and worrying certainly isn't going to change that. It's also certainly NOT going to help those who I care about during a tough time.
Practicing gratitude while others are hurting isn't selfish, or ignorant and it is probably the best I can do to serve those I care about. I want to love and support people who are suffering around me the very best I know how to, but I'm not making the world any better by walking around in a messy tangle of fear and sadness.
We're supposed to have empathy and compassion for others who are hurting, and practicing gratitude certainly doesn't mean numbing ourselves to that pain and being ignorant. But it does mean that after the tears and sadness, I will try to make sure that each thought of fear is measured with an equal breath of gratitude for what exists today.
So beautiful!! Thanks for sharing this it was encouraging and full of truth. I struggle with an abnormal amount of anxiety that can be debilitating and it is good to be reminded that fear does nothing to help. That gratitude and compassion are not only an antidote to fear but also an inoculation.
ReplyDeleteMy sister sent me a really beautiful book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp that talked about these same issues. The first few chapters are emotionally exhausting but really good.
I love this Katie. My family's also been surrounded by loss this year... My favorite uncle passed away from a heart attack on NYE. He wasn't even 50. While at the hospital, my heart broke for my cousin and his longtime girlfriend. I can't imagine what I would do if that were Jayse... How do you continue on when your whole world is built around this one person? It's hard to not think of the "what ifs" - so something like this is just what I needed to hear. It's a great outlook to have. Each day is truly a gift worth being extremely for. Beautiful post. :-)
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